Ahh... it's been a long time. But I figure, it's the 1st... of this new year. 2009. Jesus Christ. How in the world did that happen? Life is just rushing past us, like a gust of wind, and we're not even realizing it... or maybe i'm just not. Not even enjoying the moment, just worrying about bills and money and family issues and health and... survival. How frustrating. I find myself these days trying to find happiness, because it sure as hell is not finding me. How do you even find happiness? I have yet to figure it out. I guess i'll just continue on doing what I know, what i've always known, and hope that something will turn out for me--preferably with a smile on my face. Thank god for music though, I don't know how we would survive. I hope this new year brings things that the previous years didn't. I hope this year knows that we all need a fucking break, and it gives it to us. I want to wake up and it to be blissful. I want to wake up and want to be waking up. But most of all... I just want that smile, that everything is going to be ok. But in the back of my mind, I absolutely know everything is going to be ok, but I don't truly know how to convince myself of just that. This year will be good. I will have a little faith. Because, truth be told, it has to be good. It has to be.
Love Always.
Penny Lane.
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