Slow Dancing.

"Be the grandest version of the greatest vision you ever had about who you are."

I wish I knew what the grandest version of my greatest vision about myself was. Sometimes it's so hard to figure and find out who you are; what your purpose is. Why you're here. What you're supposed to accomplish... I hate how hard it is to find that. Shouldn't it be an easy journey? Maybe it should... but it's certainly not. Why is it so much easier to not have any goals then it is to have them and take the risk of either failing or succeeding, or even worse, quiting? I've always wondered this, and I don't know why. But I find myself going over this question over and over again in my head. Throughout my entire day. I find myself wondering if what i'm doing was the right decision for myself. If I took the right leap of faith. And all I really want is for someone to tell me it was the right decision. Or if I could just see my future... and where I am placed in it. I wish it was much more simple. I wish I wish I wish. God, that isn't going to help me is it. Wishing and wanting. Those fucking words and thoughts don't get you anywhere. The Dalai Lama once said... "The purpose of life is to be happy." How do we find our own happiness when our entire lives consist of trying to "be something" worth while. Or just trying to be better. I feel like life is just a big competition. And I hate that because with competition, it's hard to find the happiness. The great, insane, happiness, that our lives are suppose to consist of. I hate how society has become. Maybe i'm just whining. But i'm just trying to find something more. Something more. That's the only sane way I can seem to put it. Maybe i've just been smoking to many cigarettes and working my ass off to become "something worth while".

"Be the grandest version of the greatest vision you ever had about who you are"... I sit here on my comfy, cheep, twin bed, starring at this damn quote plastered on my white wall. Trying to make sense of it. Trying to make sense of anything I suppose... End.

Love.
Penny Lane.